Welcome back, folks. It’s me, your favorite redneck, sexist balladeer. I’m 10 minutes into the show and there’s little to report. The Duke boys, in this case Michonne and Carl, are off on another supply run. Thankfully Merle & the Governor, Rosco & Boss Hogg are dead. Yes sir, it’s easy sailing from here on out. If you believe that, I got some beachfront real estate in Tennessee to sell you. Earlier today, the young man playing Carl mentioned Judith’s name and saddened himself. I don’t know how many takes they did, I just know they didn’t do enough. Folks, his acting wasn’t worth a plug nickel.
Michonne has tried to cheer the boy up on the supply run, but he’s still sad as a rooster in an empty hen house. She mentions she had a toddler, trying to get through to him. Now, all he can do is pester her with questions. Our ninja is none to happy. I don’t know about you, but I sure do find it strange that she’s acting a fool trying to get the boy laugh and then turns into sour ninja a minute later.
Uncle Jessie, Rick, has been taking it easy. Why after the events at the prison, he’s got a face that would make a train take a dirt road. As he sleeps upstairs, we hear voices downstairs. I sure do hate it when I’m right.
[Insert country music]
Rick wakes up to realize he doesn’t have his gun. So, he gets lower than a snake’s ass and hides under the bed while an armed goon checks the rooms. Wouldn’t you know his watch makes a lot of noise? Quickly, he pulls the knob to set it which stops the hands. That cuss checking the room lies right on the bed for a cat nap.
Michonne is looking at paintings in a hallway as Carl jabs her with questions. It’s the end of the world and this little lady is still shopping. Carl hands her a wrapped painting in front of a door and goes in another room. As she unwraps it, she finds a disturbing portrait. LIke me, Michonne recognizes a bad plot device but becomes alarmed anyway. Eventually, she finds the entire family dead. Ain’t that a coincidence during this touchy-feely episode?
[Insert more twanging]
Meanwhile, Rick is under the bed while that rustler is sleeping. He’s about to try and sneak out when another one of those bandits comes up and tries to take the bed from his buddy. A fight breaks out and as one of them hits the ground he see’s Rick. It’s too late for him to give Rick up because he’s whipped like a rented mule until he passes out.
Speaking of passed out, Daisy, you may know her as Glenn, wakes up in the back of a strange truck. He asks Big Bang Theory if she saw a bus as they were riding. She thankfully responds briefly by telling him they were all dead. Glenn doesn’t like this and wants to go back and see for himself. This here military fellow that picked them up last episode says he’s on a mission to deliver a doctor to Washington D.C. Folks, that story is uglier than homemade soap. And, we still have half the episode to go.
As Glenn tries to walk away, that military man starts lecturing him about how Maggie is dead. We all know that boy is prone to violence. Hell, this whole show is about violence. So, Glenn gets madder than a wet hen and slugs him. As the 2 fight and their lady friends try and pull them apart our lonely mullet wearing doctor spots a walker. As he fetches a gun to dispatch the beastie, more appear. Folks this is typically the car chase on that other show. Here’s a chance for our heroes to jump and escape or get captured. Also, time for an annoying commercial break.
Mullet doctor starts shooting a machine gun everywhere and the rest of the group realizes what has happened. The children of the corn, the walkers, don’t fare to well with all them bullets. My daddy used to say, “Of course it ain’t fair. A fair is where you show a pig.” Well, that doctor done put a hole in the tank of the truck they was driving and now gasoline is pouring all over the road.
I think I’ve found my new ride.
Back to Rick under the bed. He’s sweatin’ like whore in church. He slides out from under the bed and into another room. The bandits have found Michonne’s washed shirt and hope she’s coming back. Meanwhile Rick has grabbed a plastic trophy. You reckon he’s going to give an award to one of those bandits? Rick sneaks into the bathroom to hide, only to catch a fellah on the pot. They fight, another chase scene in that other show. This time the General Lee makes a successful jump. Rick wins, takes his gun and climbs out the window. Well, shucks. I was sort of hoping to do another Home Alone reference.
[Insert banjo plucking]
At the truck, Glenn says goodbye. He heads back to the bus. Big Bang Theory and the other lady, Rosit,a go with him. Thus, the supposed doctor and military man follow suit. Rick is camped out at the base of the porch as he sees Carl and Michonne coming up to the house. He’s about to spring on one of the bandits when we hear a walker attack one of the bandit’s partners. As he shuffles off to the commotion, Rick runs to Carl and Michonne and tells them to hustle out of there.
It seems the boys and Uncle Jessie have found the train tracks and the sign to sanctuary. And so, Rick, Michonne and Carl head to Sanctuary. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see more of the mullet doctor adventure. See you next week. Y’all come back now, you hear?
Special thanks to Waylon Jennings for the guest post. He’s quite articulate for a walker. See The Dukes of Hazzard formula breaks down like this:
- The scheme.
- The chase (There may be multiple in episode. In many the Dukes or friends get captured to then build the tension for the next chase.)
- The jump and or tire change.
And all our The Walking Dead episodes are very similar.
- The scheme: Search for supplies, find/rescue so and so.
- The chase: Enter dark room/fenced area full of walkers. (Like the Dukes, not all are successful. Sometimes it is a stranger, sometimes a group member gets attacked or bit.)
- The jump and or tire change: Hooray, we made it out safe, rescued a group member or got a can of pudding.